Blazing Inferno In My Cold World
by Firediva0
Summary: He's falling. The winds picked up,and he could clearly feel the cold as it seemed to envelope him in a hug. He tried to run away, and find any and all emotions that could chase off the cold, but the cold didn't seem to want to let go. He was trapped in the frozen ice land that was his heart. The frozen ice land that hid the person he used to be.
1. Chapter 1:Cold Inside

_**Title: Blazing Inferno in My Cold World**_

_**Pairing: TykixAllen**_

_**Summary: He's falling. The winds picked up, and he could clearly feel the cold as it seemed to envelope him into a hug. He tried to run away, and find any and all emotions he could that could chase off the cold, but the cold didn't seem to want to let go. He was trapped in the frozen ice land that was his heart. The frozen ice land, that hid the person he used to be.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own D. Gray Man or any of its characters. The only thing I own is the plot of this story.**_

* * *

><p>Chapter 1: Cold Inside<p>

Allen Walker was always alone. He's never had a real friend, and before he's never really needed one.

He was perfectly fine with being on his own. In fact it was quite liberating.

Since he grew up with no guardian, he was able to go wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He also didn't have to hear anyone berating him on any of the choices he's made in his short life.

In his mind he was free from the chains that chained regular children to their parents. In his mind, he didn't have to worry about disappointing someone because there was no one to disappoint.

Allen's parent's abandoned him when he was young, so he's never had any parents. He didn't get to see if the other kids were right when they would call them irritating.

Though just because he's never had them, it doesn't mean he doesn't find them irritating.

Whenever a adult would find him, they would all do the same things. A: They freak out. B: The coo at him, and once they see his arm, they high tail it out of there. C: They try to kill him, all the while calling him a monster that has tainted them with his presence.

All in all Allen's never really had parents, and he didn't want any.

At least he didn't…before he met Mana.

Mana was a special case. They bonded while mourning the death of the clowns dog.

Allen wasn't mean to get close. He hadn't meant to.

Though that clown seemed to have the uncanny ability to worm his way into the most restricted and sealed places.

It started off with the mourning, and then somehow Mana was adopting him.

In all honesty, Allen knew it was stupid. He's berated himself many times before, and tried reluctantly to get Mana to drop the adoption.

Though that damn clown didn't listen.

Instead he insisted, and they eventually began to move around together.

They never stayed in one place for too long. It was a safety precaution that Mana, for some odd reason, enforced.

Allen however, was happy with having an adult around for the first time, and didn't think that it was worth it to try Mana's temper by breaking the rule. Thus, he did exactly what Mana told him to do, and followed the rule.

In the end the Clown and Allen were happy. Though that's when Allen learned that the happiest times also brings the worst ones.

They were on their way to a pub to celebrate Allen's birthday, when suddenly the sound of a horse drawn carriage could be heard.

Allen turned around quickly, and his eyes widened when he saw the carriage coming right for them.

He desperately pulled Mana's hand, and tried to maneuver them onto the sidewalk, but it seemed time was not on his side.

Mana, in an amazing show of strength, pulled Allen against him at the last moment, and together they flew into the air due to the impact.

Landing a few feet away from where they once stood, Mana winced as the gash on his chest scraped the ground harshly.

He was loosing too much blood, and he knew that this night would be his last.

Remembering the child that was in his arms, Mana looked down, only to sigh in relief when he noticed that the child was still breathing.

Mana could feel his life force slowly draining from him, so he decided that he had to make this quick.

Tightening his arms around Allen, Mana breathed in his scent.

Allen smelt like vanilla, and it was a very pleasant scent. He was actually quite happy that he was going to die like this.

There was many more ways he could have died, and for this to be it, he couldn't find it in himself to be angry.

"Allen…"He whispered into the small ear next to his mouth. The child in his arms began to hyperventilate as he noticed the blood that was coating Mana's body.

Allen desperately wanted to turn around, and look at Mana, but Mana wouldn't let him. He couldn't let him.

"Allen I love you, and I will always be with you." Mana continued.

Allen couldn't breathe. Just what was Mana talking about? Of course he would be with Allen. Why was he talking as if he were about to leave him.

"Mana…?" Allen croaked out. Unshed tears burned in his eyes as he tried desperately to keep the tears at bay.

He shouldn't cry because Mana wasn't going to leave him. They were going to be father and son just like the other kids…right?

"Keep walking…Never stop walking…"With those words Mana's eyes slid shut, and his body went limp around Allen.

"Mana…?" Allen questioned. He received no answer, and so he released himself from Mana's surprisingly weak grip on him.

However, what he saw made him freeze.

Blood surrounded Mana, and a big gash was on his chest. Little cuts and bruises littered all over Mana's face, legs, and arms, but that wasn't what caught Allen's attention.

It was the fact that the snow and blood seemed to mix together to form a pale shade of crimson. Mana laid looking exactly like what Allen pictured a bloody angel would. His normally soft looking black hair was disheveled, and the creepy smile Mana used to always wear was gone.

Allen still tried to hold back his tears, but his efforts were futile. Tears burst free from his eyes, and he screamed into the darkness of the night.

All his anguish, despair, and hate for the world came out in only one screamed word: " MANA!"

All people who were still out on the cold, unforgiving streets of London, could swear that they heard the cry of a demon being born.

The cry of a man who just lost everything, and turned to the darkness.

The cry…of a man who's despair rang all throughout London.

Yet no one would know that in reality, a young boy was pushed to far, and his heart was now frozen, and surrounded by a hard layer of ice.


	2. Chapter 2:Lost it All

_**Title: Blazing Inferno in My Cold World**_

_**Pairing: TykixAllen**_

_**Summary: He's falling. The winds picked up, and he could clearly feel the cold as it seemed to envelope him into a hug. He tried to run away, and find any and all emotions he could that could chase off the cold, but the cold didn't seem to want to let go. He was trapped in the frozen ice land that was his heart. The frozen ice land, that hid the person he used to be.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own D. Gray Man or any of its characters. The only thing I own is the plot of this story.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 2: Lost it All<strong>_

On the road, Allen sat panting in anger. Mana's body was right next to his, and he couldn't bring himself to pull away.

He just couldn't believe it.

Mana promised that he would always be there for him no matter what happened, but how could he do that if he was dead?

Mana loved him. Well at least that's what he told Allen, but what if that wasn't true?

Tears clouded his vision, and Allen angrily wiped them away.

It would do him no good to cry. He knew it was going to turn out this way. It always does.

Allen knows that he can never be happy, yet he always seeks happiness. That is why he's always told himself never to get close. Though he always does it anyway.

'_Mana…' _Allen thought. He knew it was his fault. If he never got close to Mana then the clown would have never died.

If he wasn't so selfish, Mana would still be alive.

It was all his fault…He really was the devils spawn…He really was the bringer of misfortune…

He was just a freak.

With this realization, Allen wiped his tears away once more.

He wouldn't cry. He didn't deserve to cry. He was just a murder, and an ungrateful brat.

While deep in his thoughts, Allen never noticed the sirens that were blaringly loud compared to the silence of the bare street he was in.

He was jolted back into reality however, when suddenly two long arms snaked around his waist.

Allen was gently pulled up, and when he turned to look at the person who dared to touch him, he saw that it was a guy from the EMS.

'_Pretty late don't you think?' _He thought to himself. Maybe if they came faster Mana would still be alive…

'_No…' _He thought to himself. _'It's not their fault. It's mine.' _Unshed tears once again burned in his eyes, but Allen stubbornly ignored them.

It wasn't time for self pity. It was time to get away from these people.

Allen knew that if he were to go with them, he would not only end up in debt, but also they would try to stick him in an orphanage.

He couldn't and _wouldn't _have that. He hated orphanages with a passion, and refused to go to one.

The guy who was trying to pull him along however, didn't seem to care because he stubbornly pulled Allen over and over again.

Allen pulled himself away from the guy, and watched in amusement as frustration began to reveal itself in the mans plain brown eyes.

"Let's go! You need help!" He yelled at Allen before lunging to make a grab at him.

Allen swiftly dodged, and sent a glare at the man, who had the audacity to try and touch him.

"Don't. Touch. Me." Allen snapped in the darkest voice he could muster. He wouldn't let some man he didn't know touch him, or tell him what to do.

He was independent again, and he wouldn't bow down to anyone. Neither would he put them endanger by going with them.

So when the man tried to make another grab at him, you can imagine that he was furious for having being ignored by the male.

He once again dodged, and began to walk away, when suddenly that damn man's arm was around his waist again.

'_Why is he so bloody persistent?!' _Allen thought irritated. The man was getting on his nerves, and he didn't know if he would be able to stop himself from hitting the man.

Turning around, he glared heatedly at the man, and watched with satisfaction as the man seemed to flinch at the dark promise held in his eyes.

Glaring at the man one more time, Allen walked out of his now weak hold, and picked up Mana's body gently.

Ignoring the man's protest, Allen made his way down the cold, unforgiving streets of London, and finally stopped when he reached a familiar hill.

Looking at the lone, small gravestone that sat on the very top, Allen made his way up the hill, after checking that Mana's corpse was still firmly in his hold.

Upon reaching the top, Allen gently placed Mana's body on the ground underneath a tree, and then reached for the shovel that was buried deep within the snow.

Mana and Allen had hidden it there just in case somebody tried to steal it. He learned the hard way never to trust that people wouldn't steal just anything.

Allen began shoveling deep into earth, and when he finally stopped, there was a six feet hole underground.

Going back to the tree where he gently placed Mana, Allen picked him up once again, and gently deposited him inside the hole.

"I'm so sorry…Mana." Allen whispered.

After talking one last look at Mana's corpse, Allen began to seal the hole.

When he finished he looked at the headstone that he placed on the new grave. It read:

_**Here lies the Clown, Friend, Foster Parent, and Goodman…**_

_**Mana Walker**_

_**Died:xxxx**_

_**Born:?**_

Allen couldn't help the sob that threatened to break free.

He still just couldn't believe it. After a whole year of happiness with Mana, the clown was now dead, and he was right back where he started.

Alone…

Unloved…

Not wanted…

And Despised.

He was nothing in this big world. He meant nothing. He knew this…but if he knew this, why does it feel like he's died inside?

Right then and there, Allen promised himself that he would never show his feelings to anyone. Feelings were a weakness, and he wouldn't have one.

He would protect everyone by simply staying away from them.

He would finally accept that he was to always be alone and unhappy.

…

_Crack_

Like Mana, a piece of Allen's soul died on December 25, XXXX.


	3. Chapter 3: Where the hell is that brat!

_**Title: Blazing Inferno in My Cold World**_

_**Pairing: TykixAllen**_

_**Summary: He's falling. The winds picked up, and he could clearly feel the cold as it seemed to envelope him into a hug. He tried to run away, and find any and all emotions he could that could chase off the cold, but the cold didn't seem to want to let go. He was trapped in the frozen ice land that was his heart. The frozen ice land, that hid the person he used to be.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own D. Gray Man or any of its characters. The only thing I own is the plot of this story.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 3: Where the hell is that Brat?! <strong>_

Cross Marian was always a prideful man. After all he was gorgeous. He had silky red hair, that laid in waves down his back. His eyes were hidden behind his half mask, and in a holster sat his beautiful gun Maria.

In his opinion, he had nothing to be ashamed about. He knew he was hot, and he used it to his advantage.

All around the world, Cross had tabs. From the richest places to the poorest ones. Money didn't matter. He didn't have it, and he would skip town soon anyway, so it wasn't important.

In his mind alcohol was a gift, and he fully intended to worship it. It didn't hurt that the ladies were always attracted to him, and wanted sex. It was just an added bonus.

So despite his work as an exorcist, Cross always made it his duty to worship alcohol and entertain the ladies.

He was doing the world a favor by making women feel _so _good. Heck! In his eyes he deserved the nobel peace prize.

After all a sexually frustrated woman was a ticking time bomb. She'd end up killing everyone in the area, so to counteract this Cross made it his duty to make sure there were no sexually frustrated woman in the world. Thus, peace is restored.

He _was _after all a sex genius, and had the necessary _credentials_ and _experience._

Thought that was beside the point.

Cross had just come back from doing his self assigned _job_ when he came across a frantic Neah, who told him to go find Mana.

Seeing the panic in Neah's eyes, Cross hurriedly winked towards the woman in the room, and did a rapid saunter out of the room.

All the while swinging his hips side to side.

When he was out of the bar, Cross all but ran towards the last place Mana told him he was going.

The circus.

.

.

.

When Cross made it there he didn't see Mana, so he talked to the ring leader.

"Oh Mana? He left with that _freak._" He said, sneering as if he smelt something bad. Cross had to refrain from sneering back. No one in the world was a freak. If there were freaks in the world then Cross would be considered a freak, and while Cross was many things a freak was _not_ one of them.

"Who is the _freak_?" Cross asked. Really the man was irritating him, and he only just started talking to him.

"Oh! Here at the circus he's known as _Red. _His hair is red, and he has a red arm, so we named him Red." The man answered. Cross couldn't help the frown that crossed his face when the man said the name of the boy.

"Do you know what direction they went in?" Cross asked impatiently. He had no tolerance for ugly dunderheads.

The leader, Cosimo, pointed towards a hill that led up towards a hill.

"You'll find the _freak_ up there by himself. Ask him. We don't know where the clown went after they left." Cosimo said. Cross nodded, and left. Cross began walking at a brisk pace up the hill, and what he saw made his blood go cold.

Sitting atop the hill was a boy with stunning white hair. His eyes were a stunning silver and looked like an endless abyss of _pain._

'_What happened?_' He found himself thinking. Looking at the boy's body, he noticed that the boy looked slightly malnourished, and he had a bloody _red _arm.

"Hey!" Cross found himself calling out. The boy looked towards him, and Cross could see a hint of detachment from the boy. It looked like the gray eyes that were fixed on him were looking straight through his soul. It excited him and frightened him.

Of course it wasn't _that _kind of excitement. Cross was a scientist, and he loved looking at the different type of people on earth.

In his eyes everything had some kind of beauty. However that beauty could either be a good or bad one.

The child across from him radiated beauty. His soul was darkened by mist, but at the same time as pure as they come.

It captivated and frightened Cross.

Tearing his eyes away from the beautiful specimen, Cross's eyes landed on the grave.

Reading the headstone, Cross could feel unshed tears begin to burn in his eyes.

Mana…One of his closest friends were now dead. As if sensing the man's emotions the boy spoke.

"He died protecting me in a car crash. I'm sorry…" The words for so softly spoken, yet in the silence of the night, it seemed to echo through the land.

Cross looked at the boy, and finally had a good _look_ at him.

A cloud of despair hung around him. Cross could tell the boy was grieving, and was on the verge of breaking down, but the boy seemed to stubbornly refuse to break down.

His silver eyes were pained, and tears slowly cascaded down slightly red cheeks.

The pale form of the child was shaking from the cold December air.

"What happened to you?" He found himself asking the angel. Yes…that's all the child could be called. Although Cross wasn't known to give compliments to just _anybody_ he couldn't deny the fact that this child was like a fallen angel.

The snow, and falling snow flakes helped create a picture of childish innocence. However if one were to look closer you would see the pain that the child seemed to go through.

The child seemed to misunderstand the question, but he still replied with, "We were going out to celebrate my birthday, when a car came around the corner. It was coming straight at us, and when I tried to pull us out of the way, Mana pulled me back into his arms. We got hit, and Mana…died." The child seemed to have a hard time saying the word, and Cross couldn't blame him. Instead he stood there stunned that this all happened on his birthday…which happened to be christmas.

It was _really _bad luck, and Cross didn't know what to say to that. Happy birthday would sound insensitive, and saying it's not your fault would make the child think that he was pitying him. What to do…what to do…

Oh!

"Hey kid…"Cross began. The kid looked up at him, and Cross found himself getting slightly fidgety under the boy's scrutiny.

"When life hands you lemons you make lemonade, but when life hands you shit you make lemonade." Cross replied. The kid looked at him with slight astonishment and confusion. Cross himself knew that what he said made no sense.

Yet.

"What I'm saying is that life is a bitch and will deal you bad cards, but when you get them, turn the game in your favor." It was a lesson that he himself had learned when Maria died. He was distraught, and was breaking. He couldn't stand the idea of still being alive when his beloved was dead. When she was killed by the horde of Akuma, Cross just lost it.

He turned into a killing machine, and killed everything in the area. Ever since then Cross had what seemed like a scar on his heart. However with time, that scar began to slowly heal.

The boy looked at Cross with a pensive expression. It seemed like he was really thinking about what Cross said.

In a way it made him feel better. After all when you're a womanizer and drink booze all day, it feels nice to do _something_ right.

"I see…" The boy whispered. In all actuality he really did. He couldn't just mope around, and hide himself. He was a damn human to! He wouldn't break just because the only person he cared about died. No…Instead he would use this as a real life experience.

Sure he lost a part of himself, but that's normal right? He _wouldn't _let this destroy him.

He would show the world that even though he doesn't interact with others it doesn't mean that he's going to become a waste of space.

He would show the world that he was meant for great things like all of the other humans.

He would show them that he _was _someone.

.

.

.

Cross stood watching the boy with something akin to pride. The boy seemed to piece himself back together right in front of him.

The shoulders that once sagged, were now held proudly, and the misty silver eyes now had a calculating confidence to them.

The boy took his advice to heart, and the once broken boy was now fixed again.

Cross couldn't contain the shark like grin that appeared on his face.

The boy was back!

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Longest chapter I have ever written! Anywayyyy how was the chapter? Do you think I got Cross's personality right? Thanks for the reviews, and I will totally see you guys soon!<strong>_

**_Peace, Love, and Chocolate Bars!_**


	4. Chapter 4: Living With Cross

_**Title: Blazing Inferno in My Cold World**_

_**Pairing: TykixAllen**_

_**Summary: He's falling. The winds picked up, and he could clearly feel the cold as it seemed to envelope him into a hug. He tried to run away, and find any and all emotions he could that could chase off the cold, but the cold didn't seem to want to let go. He was trapped in the frozen ice land that was his heart. The frozen ice land, that hid the person he used to be.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own D. Gray Man or any of its characters. The only thing I own is the plot of this story.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 4: Living With Cross<strong>_

After Allen pieced himself together, Cross invited Allen to live with him, and become his apprentice.

Allen of course, quickly deduced that if he didn't want to go the orphanage, he had to go with Cross, so he bit back his complaints, and took it in stride.

Cross smiled once more before practically dragging the kid to the hotel he was currently staying at. When they got there the smell of liquor and sex permeated the air, causing Allen to gag.

Since Cross was used to the smell, he just walked past the kid, who was acting as if he was choking to death, and instead went to the refrigerator for some food.  
>Upon finding none that was cooked, he sighed, and then perked up when he remembered the kid.<p>

Maybe my new apprentice knows how to cook? With this thought in mind, Cross stealthily made his way back to the living room, where Allen laid on the floor seemingly dead, with x's written in marker where his eyes went.

Rolling his eyes because of the kids dramatics, Cross instead waited for the kid to break.

Allen did not disappoint either because one second later he somehow made a full recovery, and jumped up from his spot on the floor.

Like a kid in a candy shop, he ran around the room, eyeing all the things that caught his interest for a moment, before bolting down the hall to check out the other rooms.

With a slightly fond sigh, Cross whistled, and just like a puppy, Allen ran back into the room, only to stop right in front of Cross.

His gray eyes were shining with mirth, and to Cross he looked exactly like a kid his age should.

It made one of his rare smiles grace his lips for a moment, before he quickly replaced it with a sly smirk.

"Hey kid, you know how to cook?" His voice was deep and smooth. Cross knew that it gently caressed the ears of all who heard it.

He used this particular trait to lure people in just like a siren would. It was a handy skill, and thankfully that didn't fail either.

Allen's chest puffed out in pride, and he nodded seriously as if he was telling Cross that he could single handedly take out more than a 100 grown men.

"Of course I can! What do you take me for?! Some little kid?" Allen's pride was wounded by the insinuation.

When on the streets you had to be able to cook. If you didn't then you wouldn't be able to survive. After all the number one rule of the street is to look after number 1.

Cross raised a brow at the boy who looked at him with a fiery determination.

Deciding to turn this into a game, he spoke.

"Oh really? Than show me your skills. If you can't cook something delicious than you have to do 50 laps around the building." Cross watched in hidden intrigue, as the boy's eyes burned in a way he's never seen before.

Allen's whole body screamed confidence, as he sauntered over to the kitchen, and Cross could honestly say that the boy copied his saunter flawlessly.

While swinging his hips lightly, Allen added a small pep to his step that made his body radiate a calm arrogance, and at the same time insecurity.

It made him seem vulnerable yet at the same time be able to do anything he set his mind to.

Cross knew that when he grew up, Allen could be the perfect Wing man.

"Oh really?" The boy countered, looking through the fridge and pantry.

Upon finding his chosen ingredients, he looked back to Cross with a semi arrogant smirk on his face.

"What do I get if I win?" Cross had to admit that was a good question. After all it wouldn't be fun if there was no wager.

Deciding to trust in fate, Cross spoke carefully and cautiously.

"If you win, then you how to become stronger." The red haired exorcist knew that it was a dangerous gamble, but he knew innocence when he saw one.

The boy had one in his scarred red arm, and Cross fully intended to show him how to use it.

After all even if the boy didn't want to go to the Order later, at least he would be able to protect himself and anyone he want's to protect in the future.

The boy looked slightly curious, but he decided that it was a fair gamble.

Smiling to himself, Allen said deal and immediately began cooking.

Lettuce and meat were chopped, while vegetables were thrown back and forth to be cooked in skillets and other things. Rice was cooked, and noodles were boiled.

Cross watched in fascination as the 5 year old moved throughout the kitchen with ease.

One hand was busy chopping the ingredients, while the other was busy cooking bacon. He was astounded by how the boy moved as if he's moved like that all his life.

Allen truly seemed comfortable in the kitchen. His posture was relaxed, and a rare true smile graced his face while he moved gracefully back and forth between stations.

Soon a feast was set upon the table, and drool slowly leaked out of Cross's mouth as he stared at the four course meal in front of him.

Allen of course looked on with a smug smile, taking in Cross's reaction to his food.

"For the appetizer we have onion rings, and for the entrée we have Spaghetti and garlic bread. For desert we have a dark chocolate cake with strawberry's on top." He said. The food looked heavenly, and while Cross was off in fantasy land, Allen decided to dig in to his meal.

When Cross came out of his stupor, he immediately wolfed down the food in front of him, and in between bites, ordered that Allen was going to be the one cooking for now on.

When they finished eating, Allen reminded Cross about the deal, and while grumbling, Cross and Allen left, only for Cross to take them to a clearing a couple of miles away from the hotel.

Turning to his apprentice, Cross was startled to notice that the boy was looking up into the night sky.

The stars and moon shined brightly, and the wind softly blew Allen's silver air.

In the clearing there where tons of blue flowers sticking from the ground, and when illuminated by the moon, the place radiated tranquility.

Cross couldn't help but smile sadly at the young boy. He just couldn't understand how the boy could have been alienated by others.

Yes, he looks slightly different but that means nothing. The boy was only five, and he was still pure and innocent.

Despite all the things that happened to him, he still stayed strong, and that was something Cross admired about the boy.

In the peace the clearing provided, Cross vowed to himself that he would never leave the boy willingly.

He would be the protector that the boy needed because Cross knew that Allen was the beginning of something.

He knew that the boy was indeed walking a path filled with thorns and blood, and it was no coincidence that Mana chose to stick around Allen of all people.

With this in mind, he nodded determinedly to himself before bolting towards Allen.

The silver haired kid looked up in confusion and then horror when he saw Cross running towards him.

However his survival instincts kicked in, and he immediately slid to the side, narrowly dodging Cross.

Cross however, didn't stop. Instead he began to throw punches and kicks at his new apprentice, and watch in happiness as the boy gracefully dodged each one while sometimes delivering a blow of his own.

It seemed to him, that the boy's life on the streets was harsher than even he knew.

So in the peaceful aura the clearing provided, the master and apprentice sparred with the night sky as their witness.

Slowly but surely forgetting everything around them, and focusing only on the other.

This was the start of a sort of platonic relationship between the two, and in the end they decided to make it a tradition for them to come, and spar in their new sacred place.


End file.
